After all that --- I must be the unluckiest patient

It's been a year and two months since my jaw surgery. It's been 9 months since my braces are off.
So now what happens? Things were good for first 6 months. That's it.

1. My teeth start shifting. Did I wear retainer? Yes. Mostly. Sometimes I forgot. But that's normal right?

The one tooth next to front teeth went behind the front tooth and pushing that made one of front tooth about a millimeter off line from other tooth.

2. My jaw looks diagonal ... AGAIN.

Well, in a way, the based problem wasn't solved in the first place. So this might be expected. I just hoped it wouldn't happen. My ortho dentist did his best to "LOOK STRAIGHT" because I didn't want to go through another surgery.

3. My upper jaw moves.

This makes me worried. How this move? Well, if I bite upper and jaw together and push, my upper jaw goes up and dow for about 3 to 4 millimeters. Why?? is the question. Only thing I can guess is that my jaw is obviously not secure.


My big question is, IS THERE ANYTHING I COULD DO?
Probably not. Unless I go in for surgery again. Another $4000?? No way.
But AM I GOING TO BE OKAY? MY FACE IS FALLING APART?
That's scary.

Because my jaw was put together with screws and plates. If they were off, my jaw is off.
And if my jaw is off, it will keep moving. This could shift more, and all. Scary.

So I guess I will have to call the dentist, first. Possibly meet surgeon again.
Fina another surgeon for other opinion.

If they say I would have to have another surgery, what am I going to do?
I don't know. It wasn't fun to go through the surgery and recovery.
And I did it because I thought that will make everything perfect.
Now, there is no guarantee the surgery will be successful, and that will fix my problem.
I will be probably more careful not to move my face at all for first 4 weeks.

And one more thing I realized after all done.
My bottom jaw isn't strait. So in order to match all, bottom jaw has to move, too.
Then the surgery would be a lot more complicated.

People I know said nice things about my teeth, but all that braces only shows my imperfection.
My nose isn't strait. So either look like my teeth are not strait. Or nose isn't strait.
My right cheek is bigger than left cheek. So when I smile, I show uneven cheek, one sticks out more.

My right cheek or jaw bone is sticking out in the first place.
I guess I had this problem. Just didn't see it because I was skinny. Now I have a little fat on my cheek.
Maybe just loose some weight. If that's that easy.

I feel like I shouldn't have done any of these. I just gave up with my over bite and had 20,000 in my pocket. I feel stupid.

Day 140 --- My braces are off!

Unexpectedly, last Tuesday, I got my braces off! Wow! I can't believe it.

How this happened:
I had an appointment with orthodontic dentist as usual. I thought he's going to tweak some more, because he mentioned that he's going to change my wire to thinner one.

Then as he checked me, he said, "they look perfect! Let's take off braces!"
"Really?" I said.
"Yes. Finally I'm happy with how they look." He said.
"Okay..." I was a little thoughtful if that's a good idea or not.
"Well, think about it for couple of minutes." and he check other patients.

I went over to look at mirror and checked myself. I guess I like the look.
My teeth look more or less straight. What else can he do?

So I said yes to it, and now I'm braces free! Yay!

Of course, that took a good 45 minutes to take off braces, cleaning it, making
impressions for retainer and so on.

Plus, since my jaw was still a little tilted, (he fixed by moving teeth), some of my teeth on
one side are too long. So I asked him to trim them to look even with the other side.
And he did a great job for that.

I had another appointment after, so I went back to pick up my retainer next day.

My teeth feel good.
Now I can brush better, and things won't stuck between my braces.
I can bite better, although first couple of days, my teeth were very sensitive from
taking out all those rings and stuff.

How do I look?
Well, I will share the picture sometime soon.

I'm still getting used to not having braces and new shapes of my face.
My smile is okay. I'm getting there. My husband commented that "you are back!"
as if I was gone somewhere. I guess I didn't look the way I was supposed to.
Some people didn't change much of the look while they are wearing braces, but
not me.

I'm pretty happy about the result, and I'm happy my orthodontic dentist worked hard to make it right.

Day 132 --- Orthodontic Trick is Great!

Only three days since I went to orthodontic dentist for final adjustment. And it's looking great.
My teeth now look straight! Thanks to bending wire trick. No wonder he said "that's not my concern."
He knew that he could fix it easily. I was so worried!!!

What's happening now is to close open bite, moving lower jaw forward, upper teeth to tilt forward, and move slightly to the side and front. (are you following?)

Anyway, since my jaw is a little angled, even though teeth lined up, some parts are longer. I don't know how to explain. What needs to be done is to sand out some tips of my teeth, then they will look perfectly straight and line up. I think the dentist is planning on it. I mentioned that I don't mind that my teeth to be sand out a little to match other side. He said my front two teeth are in different shape and size. So that will be fixed at the end.

I'm getting excited. My bites seem to be working. So, I guess he's right, I'm close to be done.

Before I feel good about this, I read some blog posts. Some people were considering to have the second surgery to be perfect. The responses from people said "you might be obsessed that only you see imperfection." I thought about it. That's probably true. Everyone has something not quite right, right? Only because I did surgery to fix it, I expected to be perfect.

I'm glad that orthodontic dentist could fix the rest of problems. I know that's not perfect, but I can be happy with.

Day 129 --- Almost there!

I had another dentist appointment today. We've been checking if my jaw was still moving, and it looked like it is settled. So today, he did some fine tune to my teeth.

I asked, "can you sand my tooth here to move the front teeth, so they look straight?"
I didn't mind at this point that my jaw is slightly tilted. What I care is how they look.
He said, "I can bend the wire."

How?

Well, he did this way, that way, and all.
He said he's trying to move bottom set of teeth to move forward, upper teeth to be out and in, to close the open bite. Then after that, he'll do fine tune for slight tilt part of front teeth.

Now I have rubber bands everywhere. There are two to hold front to back.
Then they added hooks. He put double rubber bands to make a square to fit front upper teeth and lower teeth. I cannot open my mouth. He gave me a lot of extra rubber bands, so I guess I could take them off to eat. But at the same time, I'm thinking that this might be a good chance to go back to liquid diet for a week, and lose some weight.

Anyway,
He said, "you are very close to be done."

Really?
I'm glad. I was really worried when I saw the tilted jaw.
But he worked the magic to fix in the way that I'm happy about.
They actually look good already. So I hope this works out, and everything will be good at the end!

Day 122 --- down time and up time

When I'm on the good mood, teeth look good and strait. But when I'm feeling low and in the bad mood, they look more tilted. Is it just physiological thing? If they are straight, though, no matter how I feel they should look straight. So I'm just trying to be okay with tilted set of teeth most of times. But today, I'm more tired and not feeling so good. So my teeth especially bother me.

Now I'm thinking, it wasn't because I ate French fries, but probably because I brushed my teeth too soon. I started Day 17. That's just past two weeks. The doctor didn't stop me, though. I just should had waited. I remember now that it was painful to open my mouth. Then I had to move brush between small space between my upper jaw and lower jaw. I think that did it. Somehow some point I must have pushed too much. Then that caused this shift. Yes. Call me stupid. That's how I feel. Why why why I didnt wait? First of all, I never imagine that the jaw would move like that. They are. bolted together. But then, like my orthodontic dentist explained, upper jaw is like Plastic Easter egg. Only if I knew.

Too late.

I just have to live with my own mistake and every time I look at my tilted teeth, I just know how stupid I am. Right? Great!

Sorry, I'm really downer today. I'd better stop writing.

Day 118 --- Getting better?

I had another dentist appointment today. This one is to check if my jaw is still moving without rubber bands. It's been one week since I went to the dentist, and it looked like stable. He said so, too. There is still small gap between my upper set of teeth and lower set of teeth. He said it's easy to put those teeth close together moving teeth. But he doesn't want to do it until he's sure that the jaw is stable. So that's what we are checking. This time, it will be for two weeks until the next appointment. I think after that, he may try to move my teeth to come close together. My teeth are lining up better, though. I think so and one of his assistant who hasn't seen me said that too. Last time she saw me was when I told the dentist my teeth are tilted. She said they look a lot better and she doesn't notice the tilt so much. Well,
"so much" is the point, isn't it? It's still there. But not so obvious. So if you don't know me and look at my teeth, you may not notice. That's what I'm hoping. There is a slight hope now. It looks like I don't have to live with huge tilt in my face. Non of faces are perfect, right? Everyone has little difference between left and right.

Anyway, I'm happy for now. It may take another couple of months before braces are off. But at least, the dentist try to make the best of it.

Day 116 --- Taste buds

Ever since the surgery, I have carvings for salty foods.
I always liked salty foods, but now unstoppable. I have to have some.
Maybe because inside my mouth is still numb, my taste buds seem to
want to feel stronger taste. I liked chocolate and sweets, too. But
I don't have cravings for sweets anymore. Strange. I guess the surgery
messed that things up, too.

Day 111 --- Interesting New Truth

I had an appointment with orthodontic dentist today. The result, no changes.

First, he asked me how I felt.
Well, I don't know. I'm just tired of wearing this braces not knowing
where this is going.
Then he checked. He said they look better. I think so too.
They lined up more or less. He said the bites are fine.
Okay what else??

He said, "If teeth stay the way they are now, you are done. But I don't know."
"How long should I wait?" I asked.
"It's kind of up to you," he answered.
"I could be done now. I'm getting tired of thinking." I said.
"Okay, then. Let's see if teeth move or not without rubber bands for a week or so,
if they don't move. That's good. You may be done." He said.

So this week, I will see if nothing moves or not without rubber bands.
I don't think they will. I pushed myself hard, and they don't go anywhere.

He had resident girl today, so he was explaining more details of what happened.
He said "yeah, her left side of face is smaller than the right side, so lower jaw is actually tilted."

WHAT?

LOWER JAW IS TILTED.

"and surgeon matched to what she had on the lower jaw, so naturally, it is tilted."
Thanks a lot. I noticed my nose isn't straight, and surgeon matched to my nose,
so now I have not only have bend nose, but also shifted teeth. The center of
teeth somehow matches to the center of my nose. But that's not center of my face.
Do you get it?

I know everyone has something. But isn't it too much?

He said "ideally, you should have had lower jaw extended to level."
It's too late now. I'm not going in again. I guess it wasn't sever case,
then they think it's too much to go through double jaw surgery.
So they decided without asking me the option. Well, I don't know if I
wanted to do the double jaw, probably not. But finding out later that things are
not perfect in the first place doesn't make you feel good.

So in the way, that's the best they can do.
Bites are fine, and as long as they don't move, they are good, even though
there is a slight tilt. I don't see the tilt as much as when I first found out.
So that's good. I can live with this. The dentist said the same thing,
"I can live with that," as long as they stay.

My advice to anyone who is going to have surgery, the trick is to know
your face WELL. They don't know anything. They just do routinely. If anything
happened, that's not them to live with it. I wish I knew that my nose isn't the
center of the face. I didn't look at my face that closely.

The other complain is that after the surgery, the second appointment I had with
this dentist had to reschedule, just because I had school stuff. Then, they
didn't put me in for extra 3 weeks. That's the long time. They might be busy,
but after surgery, things are time sensitive. If something happened, and they found
it sooner, there was better chance to recover. I feel that I wasted that
three weeks. By the time I saw my dentist, it was too late. It's been 6 weeks.

Now they see my problem, they put me in whenever I want. See? How world works?
I should had spoken up. If anyone faces the similar situation, please not be afraid
to tell what you think. Most likely you are right. You know what's best for yourself.

I will see what will happen this week, eat carefully, then go back to see him next week.

Day 106 --- ENT doctor appointment

Just to make sure if everything is okay, I went to see ENT doctor. The result, FINE. Good.
I have this on and off ear plugged situation. I don't know why. But the doctor said my tube is clear, and hearing test was normal. So just some after effect from the surgery and "it will heal in time." he said.
That's a relief.

Sudden ear pressure change

It happened around 3:30 p.m. My right ear, right, the ear I had problem with after the surgery started feel pressure, or muffled. I can still hear. But it is different. I don't know what is happening. Hope nothing serious. Someone told me to go to see a doctor right away. I wish I could. It is Saturday tomorrow.

I'm wondering... as my jaw moves (if it is moving) it might be disturbing my inner tube. Or worst case scenario is minor stroke inside my head.

Oh I just hate those post surgery complications!

Day 100 --- When to give up

This is me smiling, taken today. See you can still see it's not quite strait. 

But wait a minute. My nose isn't quite straight, either. When they did surgery, 

as they moved my upper jaw forward, tilted down, they also rotate a few 

millimeters to match the center of bottom teeth. Maybe that's why it looks 

"not straight." Over all, I think look tolerable now. No body has perfect 

symmetric face, right? 

Now, here is my worries. There is more gap between upper set of teeth and 

bottomset of teeth. It looks more straight than before, but at the same time, 

that made more gap. This picture is how they sit together. They don't go 

any closer. I remember that right after the surgery, both sets of teeth shut 

together perfectly. So obviously, this happened after that. After the shift. 

I don't know if this is the way it will be, or things will keep moving, although 

the part that we want to move doesn't move at all. 

My dentist appointment next is November 20th. I don't know what 

he will say. He wasn't happy how things are. I don't think he will happy to see this. 

But the question is that will he be ever happy about my teeth? I don't think so. 

Unless I'm wearing this braces FOEVER!  

I'm tired of braces. I want them off. I start not caring about this, although 

it bothers me, of course. I just want to forget about this. Because I'm wasting of 

my time worrying and complaining how things turn out. But there are more 

important stuffI have to take care of. I just wish I read all the blogs before 

the surgery. I didn't prepare myself enough. For the people who will have surgery 

in the future, good luck! and hope you won't have the same problem I had. 

Day 97 --- Over bite

My bites feel different everyday. I don't know if it's a good thing or not, if it's improving or messing up. I think my jaw is still slightly tilted. Just I don't notice as much as before. I may just got used to it. I don't know. One thing I noticed is over bite. When right after the surgery, my both jaws and teeth were completely shuts and met. Now I see gap between upper set of teeth and lower set of teeth. That might means that I may be starting to have over bite. AGAIN. What I'm afraid is that since my upper jaw was only touched small sections and screwed, does it come totally off from scull? As it moves off from scull, teeth will come forward, right? I hope this isn't the case. Because if that happens, for sure I will have to go back to do the surgery again. I don't know if I could go through the same thing again.

The other thing that I'm not happy about is the WIDE SMILE. The dentist thinks that's the good thing. But my face was skinny before. My chin points out nice triangle. But now, because my smile is wide, I feel my face is much bigger, or wider. My mouth is bigger for sure. Maybe I waisted all that money and time only to get more problems. If I was 20s, that might worth it. But I'm half way in 40s. I guess I was too late to care about this. Disappointed.