Day 118 --- Getting better?

I had another dentist appointment today. This one is to check if my jaw is still moving without rubber bands. It's been one week since I went to the dentist, and it looked like stable. He said so, too. There is still small gap between my upper set of teeth and lower set of teeth. He said it's easy to put those teeth close together moving teeth. But he doesn't want to do it until he's sure that the jaw is stable. So that's what we are checking. This time, it will be for two weeks until the next appointment. I think after that, he may try to move my teeth to come close together. My teeth are lining up better, though. I think so and one of his assistant who hasn't seen me said that too. Last time she saw me was when I told the dentist my teeth are tilted. She said they look a lot better and she doesn't notice the tilt so much. Well,
"so much" is the point, isn't it? It's still there. But not so obvious. So if you don't know me and look at my teeth, you may not notice. That's what I'm hoping. There is a slight hope now. It looks like I don't have to live with huge tilt in my face. Non of faces are perfect, right? Everyone has little difference between left and right.

Anyway, I'm happy for now. It may take another couple of months before braces are off. But at least, the dentist try to make the best of it.

Day 116 --- Taste buds

Ever since the surgery, I have carvings for salty foods.
I always liked salty foods, but now unstoppable. I have to have some.
Maybe because inside my mouth is still numb, my taste buds seem to
want to feel stronger taste. I liked chocolate and sweets, too. But
I don't have cravings for sweets anymore. Strange. I guess the surgery
messed that things up, too.

Day 111 --- Interesting New Truth

I had an appointment with orthodontic dentist today. The result, no changes.

First, he asked me how I felt.
Well, I don't know. I'm just tired of wearing this braces not knowing
where this is going.
Then he checked. He said they look better. I think so too.
They lined up more or less. He said the bites are fine.
Okay what else??

He said, "If teeth stay the way they are now, you are done. But I don't know."
"How long should I wait?" I asked.
"It's kind of up to you," he answered.
"I could be done now. I'm getting tired of thinking." I said.
"Okay, then. Let's see if teeth move or not without rubber bands for a week or so,
if they don't move. That's good. You may be done." He said.

So this week, I will see if nothing moves or not without rubber bands.
I don't think they will. I pushed myself hard, and they don't go anywhere.

He had resident girl today, so he was explaining more details of what happened.
He said "yeah, her left side of face is smaller than the right side, so lower jaw is actually tilted."

WHAT?

LOWER JAW IS TILTED.

"and surgeon matched to what she had on the lower jaw, so naturally, it is tilted."
Thanks a lot. I noticed my nose isn't straight, and surgeon matched to my nose,
so now I have not only have bend nose, but also shifted teeth. The center of
teeth somehow matches to the center of my nose. But that's not center of my face.
Do you get it?

I know everyone has something. But isn't it too much?

He said "ideally, you should have had lower jaw extended to level."
It's too late now. I'm not going in again. I guess it wasn't sever case,
then they think it's too much to go through double jaw surgery.
So they decided without asking me the option. Well, I don't know if I
wanted to do the double jaw, probably not. But finding out later that things are
not perfect in the first place doesn't make you feel good.

So in the way, that's the best they can do.
Bites are fine, and as long as they don't move, they are good, even though
there is a slight tilt. I don't see the tilt as much as when I first found out.
So that's good. I can live with this. The dentist said the same thing,
"I can live with that," as long as they stay.

My advice to anyone who is going to have surgery, the trick is to know
your face WELL. They don't know anything. They just do routinely. If anything
happened, that's not them to live with it. I wish I knew that my nose isn't the
center of the face. I didn't look at my face that closely.

The other complain is that after the surgery, the second appointment I had with
this dentist had to reschedule, just because I had school stuff. Then, they
didn't put me in for extra 3 weeks. That's the long time. They might be busy,
but after surgery, things are time sensitive. If something happened, and they found
it sooner, there was better chance to recover. I feel that I wasted that
three weeks. By the time I saw my dentist, it was too late. It's been 6 weeks.

Now they see my problem, they put me in whenever I want. See? How world works?
I should had spoken up. If anyone faces the similar situation, please not be afraid
to tell what you think. Most likely you are right. You know what's best for yourself.

I will see what will happen this week, eat carefully, then go back to see him next week.

Day 106 --- ENT doctor appointment

Just to make sure if everything is okay, I went to see ENT doctor. The result, FINE. Good.
I have this on and off ear plugged situation. I don't know why. But the doctor said my tube is clear, and hearing test was normal. So just some after effect from the surgery and "it will heal in time." he said.
That's a relief.

Sudden ear pressure change

It happened around 3:30 p.m. My right ear, right, the ear I had problem with after the surgery started feel pressure, or muffled. I can still hear. But it is different. I don't know what is happening. Hope nothing serious. Someone told me to go to see a doctor right away. I wish I could. It is Saturday tomorrow.

I'm wondering... as my jaw moves (if it is moving) it might be disturbing my inner tube. Or worst case scenario is minor stroke inside my head.

Oh I just hate those post surgery complications!

Day 100 --- When to give up

This is me smiling, taken today. See you can still see it's not quite strait. 

But wait a minute. My nose isn't quite straight, either. When they did surgery, 

as they moved my upper jaw forward, tilted down, they also rotate a few 

millimeters to match the center of bottom teeth. Maybe that's why it looks 

"not straight." Over all, I think look tolerable now. No body has perfect 

symmetric face, right? 

Now, here is my worries. There is more gap between upper set of teeth and 

bottomset of teeth. It looks more straight than before, but at the same time, 

that made more gap. This picture is how they sit together. They don't go 

any closer. I remember that right after the surgery, both sets of teeth shut 

together perfectly. So obviously, this happened after that. After the shift. 

I don't know if this is the way it will be, or things will keep moving, although 

the part that we want to move doesn't move at all. 

My dentist appointment next is November 20th. I don't know what 

he will say. He wasn't happy how things are. I don't think he will happy to see this. 

But the question is that will he be ever happy about my teeth? I don't think so. 

Unless I'm wearing this braces FOEVER!  

I'm tired of braces. I want them off. I start not caring about this, although 

it bothers me, of course. I just want to forget about this. Because I'm wasting of 

my time worrying and complaining how things turn out. But there are more 

important stuffI have to take care of. I just wish I read all the blogs before 

the surgery. I didn't prepare myself enough. For the people who will have surgery 

in the future, good luck! and hope you won't have the same problem I had. 

Day 97 --- Over bite

My bites feel different everyday. I don't know if it's a good thing or not, if it's improving or messing up. I think my jaw is still slightly tilted. Just I don't notice as much as before. I may just got used to it. I don't know. One thing I noticed is over bite. When right after the surgery, my both jaws and teeth were completely shuts and met. Now I see gap between upper set of teeth and lower set of teeth. That might means that I may be starting to have over bite. AGAIN. What I'm afraid is that since my upper jaw was only touched small sections and screwed, does it come totally off from scull? As it moves off from scull, teeth will come forward, right? I hope this isn't the case. Because if that happens, for sure I will have to go back to do the surgery again. I don't know if I could go through the same thing again.

The other thing that I'm not happy about is the WIDE SMILE. The dentist thinks that's the good thing. But my face was skinny before. My chin points out nice triangle. But now, because my smile is wide, I feel my face is much bigger, or wider. My mouth is bigger for sure. Maybe I waisted all that money and time only to get more problems. If I was 20s, that might worth it. But I'm half way in 40s. I guess I was too late to care about this. Disappointed.