Messed up my symmetry by rotating my jaw???

I've been having trouble accepting this myself.
My right cheek got bigger than before and that messed up symmetry of my face.

When the surgeon said I may have had bigger right cheek to begin with, I thought it might be true.

But after looking all the pictures of myself before and after the surgery, I can say this:
MY CHEEK GOT BIGGER AFTER THE SURGERY.

Sigh...

I've been thinking about what went wrong.
I know nothing I can do about it now except having another surgery.
But I just need to know to understand. The doctor only talks about "what he can do now" instead of
"what went wrong." That bothers me, too. Because a lot of people on internet that I found said that in order to fix the problem, you have to know what went wrong.

Most people I found who had the same kind of surgery had asymmetric face.
One cheek bigger or smaller than the other. And because of that, they are having "ROTATION" to fix it.

I really regret that I mentioned that my center of teeth didn't meet. Now I know that could have been fixed by braces. EASY! Didn't have to have my jaw rotated.

What if I just had NOMAL upper jaw surgery, just cut and tilt down to fix open bite,
I may not have had this problem all together.

This is my speculations, which often right on,
1. because my jaw was rotated, that cause to heal my bones late, and lead to non union.
2. because my jaw was rotated, now I have uneven cheeks, right side stick out more than left.

and on top of it, I probably have more scar tissue build up on right side.

Big sigh...


Does really affect that much, though?
The rotation is something like 2 mm to the left.
2 mm affect this much pain in my mind??

My mom said just give up. Somethings are not be fixed and you just have to live with it.
MOM!!!! this is not fair!

The surgeon never ever ever mentioned that rotation of the jaw could affect symmetry of my face.
He never ever mentioned that having teeth meet in the center could be done with braces.
He just say "I can fix that too"

Now the center of teeth is too much to the left. I mean, that's only 1 to 2 mm.
That means I really didn't need to move my jaw to the left.
WHY THE SURGEON DIDN'T TELL ME???


If anyone out there have same situation, please let me know.
If you are reading this and having same sort of surgery, I warn you, rotating the jaw will mess up your symmetry of the face. If you already have asymmetric face, that means it will work for you. But otherwise, DON'T DO IT!

Oral Surgeon Appointment --- Diagnosed NON UNION

I had the appointment with oral surgeon couple of weeks ago to find out about the scan.
Because after he sent me to the scan, he was unreachable. It took me three months to set this appointment as if he didn't want to see me and secretly hoping that I would go away.

As I signed in the office, the secretary handed me a piece of paper about "risk in surgery" that state something like "I understand there is a risk and it won't be perfect."

Maybe they were preparing that I may sue them?
That was my impression.

Then the lady said "you can keep it in case you go to another surgery."

ANOTHER SURGERY... sigh.

When the doctor came in to see me, he was nice, or try to be nice.
Of course, he didn't want to talk about "why this is happening." but more about "what he could do about it."

He showed me scanned pictures and pointed out there were gaps all around between those bones that should be sticked together. ALL AROUND. NOT EVEN A BIT WAS STICKED. sigh.

I imagined myself that my jaw would fall out like zombie.
He said that won't happen.. probably. But who knows.


Here is what he could do:
ANOTHER SURGERY.
to clean stuff in-between.
He said it won't be as bad as the first surgery. But really? How could I trust him now?
And he explained how to do it.

1. It will be the same incisions inside the mouth.
2. Go in.
3. Take out all the screws and plates.
4. Clean out whatever in between.
5. Put back screws and plates.
AND EXTRA BONE FROM HIP TO MAKE SURE IT WILL STICK THIS TIME.

WHAT???
Did I miss something?
EXTRA BONE FROM HIP?

"YES, there is a bone this shape and that and inside this is the one I'm interested to use, I only cut small and it will grow back.... "

Do I have to get some other part of body cut open, cut a piece of bone, scrape the bone to use in my face? did I hear it right? sigh.

SAME RECOVERY.

MORE MONEY.

sigh. sigh. sigh.

And also I mentioned about shifted jaw.
Now he said "I'm not going to touch anything to fix how the jaw line up."
WHAT?

So this surgery is purely to just get rid of whatever inbetween.

BUT MY JAW IS STILL TILTED.
And I thought my cheeks were uneven. But I studied some of old pictures of me smiling before surgery and after surgery. And I looked a lot better BEFORE the surgery because my smile was even. My cheek wasn't stick out like it did after the surgery. Only happened after the surgery. That means this is something to do with how the jaw were put together. My right cheek look bigger now and also my right end of lip shift downwards.

But even if I have another surgery, he wouldn't fix that.

He said my bite is still good. So he would somehow put upper and lower jaws stick together while he works on the non union part of jaw.. or bone.

I insisted that jaw was shifted after the surgery.
Then he said "bottom jaw is little tilted in the first place."
Oh so you know bottom jaw wasn't straight and didn't fix it when I had a chance to do both. Why?
All are neglected.

I visited his office that things are not right, right after the surgery. and he said he didn't see the tilt.
How can he not to see it while he always works on millimeters of difference. He lied.

I was sad and devastated.
Do I really want to go through another surgery? NO.
But what if I leave it? I may encounter other problems.
But the surgery really fix the problems? I don't know.
It may fix the bone, but may create another.
I still have some numbness inside the mouth. Things never taste the same.
This time, if my hip bone is cut, I may have other problems, too.
Tilted jaw will be forever tilted and this time set that way.
Not to mention the cost. It will cost me at least $5000 to $6000 for deductible and coinsurance.

The doctor actually asked me how much to expect. And I mentioned at least that amount.
He said "I can control what I charge, but I cannot control how much the hospital charge."
Does that mean he would perform this surgery free? I doubt it. But he may be saying that for his insurance to the situation that I may sue him? I don't know.

I wish he corrected this right after the surgery.
Of course I didn't want to go in again after that surgery. But if that was the same year, at least I didn't have to pay any more money. Plus it may have done right, not just bone, but the shift. Because I was still wearing the braces. Now my braces are off, they have to install something to hold my teeth together. how that work?


My dentist said it won't worth it. Because more likely to mess up something else.
My mom said the same thing.
My husband doesn't want me to go through another pain again.
Plus we can't really afford another 6K.
My mother-in-law thinks I should sue the doctor.
My sister-in-law who works in the industry said I should go to see another surgeon to get second opinion.

I don't know what I think.
If all are fixed in the way I like, I may tolerate the pain. Only in the case I don't have to pay so much.
The new insurance that I may change into has only $1800 deductible for everything. Still a lot of money. But more do-able than 6K. 6K is out of question.
But I don't want to have them cut the hip bone. I'm getting old, and the less stress in any major area is better.

If I don't have the surgery, I just have to live with whatever I have.
Teeth works fine for now. My bite seems change each day. Probably because it moves.
My mental pain is bigger than anything else.
I went though a lot to get this surgery, and didn't come out right really affecting me mentally.
It is not fair for me.
And I have to look at myself and my face reminds me everyday that it didn't go right.

I LIKED HOW I LOOKED BEFORE THE SURGERY.
I don't like how I look now. Especially I hate being taken a picture.
I used to look fine in most angles, now most angles don't work for me. I look terrible.
Because my smile look uneven. My right cheek looks bigger than the left. One side of mouth goes downwards. This situation is putting me into depression. I don't know how I'm supposed to solve this problems.

I wish I can just forget about it.

Breathing Problem?

"That's totally mental." that's what my husband says. And that might be true.
But I cannot help thinking, what if the air way is pushed by unset jaw bones and tissues?
I should be, right? I am breathing. Just once in a while, I feel like I have to remind myself to breath.
Or it feels like I don't get enough air from regular breathing.
It might be stress, or it might be totally something else.

But this is causing stress for sure.
After dropping off my scanned images at surgeon's office. It's been four weeks.
During that time, I called a few times. Each time they say "we will call you."
Apparently the doctor didn't even look at it for a long time because "he is busy" with other surgeries.
So after 5 and a half weeks, I called again.

They say "he's not in this office today. I'll call him and call you back."
They didn't call that day.

Next day, I called again.
Same story.
But then later they called and said "he has to see you. So we can make an appointment."

Okay.
He will see me. That means it wasn't "okay." or "nothing is wrong."
Something IS WRONG. Otherwise, he would say "you don't have to come in."

But the appointment is another four weeks away.
That means nothing they can do in the short term. OR nothing would change in that time period.
Only my anxiety will increase.

I will have an appointment on December 5th. I don't know what he would say.
Probably something like "I've never had the case like this." "should be set." "don't know what happened."

Even if he knew something might have cause the trouble, he wouldn't say.
This is America, people would sue people all the time. He wouldn't admit even if that was his fault.
So from there, where am I going to go?

If there isn't any health problems, then it might be okay to leave it.
It may cause the problem like breathing, then something has to happen.

Now the insurance policy is all changing, I will have to look into everything again!
What a pain! I don't want to spend another $4000 for it, either. I would rather have a vacation.

But my health seems to be a problem.
I've been having this breathless situation more often than before.
Hope nothing is serious.

Appointment with Surgeon today --- NON UNION

I had an appointment with my surgeon today.

Result: jaw moves = not good
X-ray: screws are almost off the sockets
Probably: NON UNION
Next step: Go get scan and talk about it afterwards.

Those are outline of what happened today.
I told the doctor about jaw movement. I told that I went to see him as soon as I found out that the jaw was crooked. But he said nothing he could do.
He asked me since when it moves. I didn't know. I noticed recently. Because I had sharp nerve pain.
He said that he wouldn't know BECAUSE HE HASN'T SEEN ME FOR A LONG TIME. IN FACT I DIDN'T GO TO GHE 6 MONTH FOLLOW UP.

Well, so?? He didn't help me. So I didn't go back. Why do I want to go back to just pay for office visit and spend hours waiting in the waiting room for 5 minutes talk about "how are you?"

Of course I didn't say that. But he wasn't helpful as I thought he would be.

Now this is new. But I could tell that he wasn't too happy. And I could tell that he didn't want to admit that he made a mistake. 'SOMETHING HAPPENED' mysteriously. yah right.
I think he messed that up. Otherwise, the jaw should shift in the first place. I thought for a long time that that's something I did. But probably that's not the reason. Maybe because he knew, he said to me that that's not something I did. Yes, something he did.

Anyway, what happened was happened. Too late.

Good thing that I asked my husband to come with me, and he did.
So the doctor brush me off too easily.
My husband remembered better about surgery situation, because I was sleep to half sleep plus couldn't talk. He mentioned that the doctor had to redo whole thing because my jaw bone was too soft or something. Then he remembered. I think.

But because we were talking randomly I forgot some of the questions that I wanted to ask.


He explained about NON UNION. Non union is some tissue grow in between bones before bones heal and connect together. So my case, it is likely the non union.

What he can do about it is to go in again to clean up. Reconnect the bones.
For that, I may have to take bone from some place else like hip bone. Ouch.

He said it's not like first jaw surgery. He won't move jaw. What he will do is to go in, clean things in between, take screws off, add bone or something to regenerate bones, and put jaws together and screws back in place. Possibly out patient. I doubt it, though.

I don't have to wear braces again, but I would need to wear something to stabilize my jaw and teeth.
I imagined something like retainer, but not sure about it.
Then I cannot move or shouldn't move my jaw for at least a few weeks.. I bet. One month and shifted, so I won't move a think if I had to go through this again. Probably can't eat, either. So liquid diet.
Well, we didn't get into that far today.

From X-ray, what we could see is that screws were coming off the sockets. There were space in between, and even just that can tell things are not where they should be.

My dentist and doctor both said "your bites are okay" but maybe bites are okay because jaw moves to the position every time when I bite. Then, if jaw got set, bite could be off??? That will be another nightmare.

I asked if I had to go though this again, my tilted jaw could be strait or not. Because if they redo the screws and redo the cut part connected each other, then should be straight, right? But doctor didn't want to say that. He said "maybe, but can't say."

I fels so unfair, and cried about we came out from doctor's office.
And we were sent to have a scan done, but for that costing us $275!
This shouldn't happen in the first place. Now not only we have to go through all the doctor's appointment and stuff, plus possible another surgery. And that surgery will cost us another $3500 deductible. I cannot say enough that's not fair.

And... I can't be sure if that will fix it either.
It may create more problems such us numbness, bite change, change in appearance.

If all goes well,
1. my jaw problem might be gone.. I will have a set jaw.
2. my jaw might be in the straight position where it should be.
3. future possible problem might be prevented.

But if it goes bad,
1. after spending another $4000 plus
2. my jaw still not stable
3. possible still crooked
4. have other complications such as numbness
5. hearing
6. nose problems

and again, I'm scared to have another surgery.
For the first one, I was determined to get it done. I believed that will make everything better.
But it didn't. I'm very doubtful now. What if something bad happened? There was a time that I couldn't breath because my throat was swollen and nurse wasn't around. I kicked and slapped anything everything around to make noise to get attention. I don't remember how that solved.. probably I passed out. I don't want to have that experience again. I thought I would die not be able to breath.
And for another surgery, of course I had to have nose tube. And the doctor who took that nose tube was so rough that my nose hurt for days.  I think that's why I had bad nose breed for many times.
Maybe he tried to do it quick so I didn't have to feel uncomfortable and feel pain as the tube exited. But that was painful. Almost more painful than the surgery because I could feel it.

anyway

The scan went quickly. I was supposed to drop the CD off to the doctor's office, but didn't have time, and also wanted to make a copy and look at it, so brought home.
I'm not professional, so can't tell for sure what images mean, but I still could tell that there was a space between bones. In fact, I couldn't see bone in between.

Sigh.. sigh.. sigh..

Fibrous Union

I went to see my orthodontic dentist.

Good news: I got new retainer for free.
Bad news: he said I may have a thing called "Fibrous Union."

What he thinks that happened was: while bones are healing, something got in between. Something like scar tissue. And bone itself didn't connect properly. But first thing that grow is those tissue to connect together. Normally around the bone. But my case, probably things got in between.

That's why jaw isn't set. Still moves.

Okay, that makes perfect sense.
Because right after the surgery, my jaw wasn't in the right position. It tilted.
So we pulled and tried to move. And maybe in result, things got in between.

His opinion: I wouldn't touch it if it doesn't bother you.
Why: I've seen a few people who went though more than one surgery, but every time it got worse.

So he said "less surgery is better."

And "some people, their bone don't grow in the normal rate or something."
and some of them have movable jaw even after several surgery.

He also said "if I can guarantee that will be successful, I will say to have another surgery."

But he's not sure.
I'm not sure.

I will have an appointment with the surgeon next Monday.  

After all that --- I must be the unluckiest patient

It's been a year and two months since my jaw surgery. It's been 9 months since my braces are off.
So now what happens? Things were good for first 6 months. That's it.

1. My teeth start shifting. Did I wear retainer? Yes. Mostly. Sometimes I forgot. But that's normal right?

The one tooth next to front teeth went behind the front tooth and pushing that made one of front tooth about a millimeter off line from other tooth.

2. My jaw looks diagonal ... AGAIN.

Well, in a way, the based problem wasn't solved in the first place. So this might be expected. I just hoped it wouldn't happen. My ortho dentist did his best to "LOOK STRAIGHT" because I didn't want to go through another surgery.

3. My upper jaw moves.

This makes me worried. How this move? Well, if I bite upper and jaw together and push, my upper jaw goes up and dow for about 3 to 4 millimeters. Why?? is the question. Only thing I can guess is that my jaw is obviously not secure.


My big question is, IS THERE ANYTHING I COULD DO?
Probably not. Unless I go in for surgery again. Another $4000?? No way.
But AM I GOING TO BE OKAY? MY FACE IS FALLING APART?
That's scary.

Because my jaw was put together with screws and plates. If they were off, my jaw is off.
And if my jaw is off, it will keep moving. This could shift more, and all. Scary.

So I guess I will have to call the dentist, first. Possibly meet surgeon again.
Fina another surgeon for other opinion.

If they say I would have to have another surgery, what am I going to do?
I don't know. It wasn't fun to go through the surgery and recovery.
And I did it because I thought that will make everything perfect.
Now, there is no guarantee the surgery will be successful, and that will fix my problem.
I will be probably more careful not to move my face at all for first 4 weeks.

And one more thing I realized after all done.
My bottom jaw isn't strait. So in order to match all, bottom jaw has to move, too.
Then the surgery would be a lot more complicated.

People I know said nice things about my teeth, but all that braces only shows my imperfection.
My nose isn't strait. So either look like my teeth are not strait. Or nose isn't strait.
My right cheek is bigger than left cheek. So when I smile, I show uneven cheek, one sticks out more.

My right cheek or jaw bone is sticking out in the first place.
I guess I had this problem. Just didn't see it because I was skinny. Now I have a little fat on my cheek.
Maybe just loose some weight. If that's that easy.

I feel like I shouldn't have done any of these. I just gave up with my over bite and had 20,000 in my pocket. I feel stupid.

Day 140 --- My braces are off!

Unexpectedly, last Tuesday, I got my braces off! Wow! I can't believe it.

How this happened:
I had an appointment with orthodontic dentist as usual. I thought he's going to tweak some more, because he mentioned that he's going to change my wire to thinner one.

Then as he checked me, he said, "they look perfect! Let's take off braces!"
"Really?" I said.
"Yes. Finally I'm happy with how they look." He said.
"Okay..." I was a little thoughtful if that's a good idea or not.
"Well, think about it for couple of minutes." and he check other patients.

I went over to look at mirror and checked myself. I guess I like the look.
My teeth look more or less straight. What else can he do?

So I said yes to it, and now I'm braces free! Yay!

Of course, that took a good 45 minutes to take off braces, cleaning it, making
impressions for retainer and so on.

Plus, since my jaw was still a little tilted, (he fixed by moving teeth), some of my teeth on
one side are too long. So I asked him to trim them to look even with the other side.
And he did a great job for that.

I had another appointment after, so I went back to pick up my retainer next day.

My teeth feel good.
Now I can brush better, and things won't stuck between my braces.
I can bite better, although first couple of days, my teeth were very sensitive from
taking out all those rings and stuff.

How do I look?
Well, I will share the picture sometime soon.

I'm still getting used to not having braces and new shapes of my face.
My smile is okay. I'm getting there. My husband commented that "you are back!"
as if I was gone somewhere. I guess I didn't look the way I was supposed to.
Some people didn't change much of the look while they are wearing braces, but
not me.

I'm pretty happy about the result, and I'm happy my orthodontic dentist worked hard to make it right.

Day 132 --- Orthodontic Trick is Great!

Only three days since I went to orthodontic dentist for final adjustment. And it's looking great.
My teeth now look straight! Thanks to bending wire trick. No wonder he said "that's not my concern."
He knew that he could fix it easily. I was so worried!!!

What's happening now is to close open bite, moving lower jaw forward, upper teeth to tilt forward, and move slightly to the side and front. (are you following?)

Anyway, since my jaw is a little angled, even though teeth lined up, some parts are longer. I don't know how to explain. What needs to be done is to sand out some tips of my teeth, then they will look perfectly straight and line up. I think the dentist is planning on it. I mentioned that I don't mind that my teeth to be sand out a little to match other side. He said my front two teeth are in different shape and size. So that will be fixed at the end.

I'm getting excited. My bites seem to be working. So, I guess he's right, I'm close to be done.

Before I feel good about this, I read some blog posts. Some people were considering to have the second surgery to be perfect. The responses from people said "you might be obsessed that only you see imperfection." I thought about it. That's probably true. Everyone has something not quite right, right? Only because I did surgery to fix it, I expected to be perfect.

I'm glad that orthodontic dentist could fix the rest of problems. I know that's not perfect, but I can be happy with.

Day 129 --- Almost there!

I had another dentist appointment today. We've been checking if my jaw was still moving, and it looked like it is settled. So today, he did some fine tune to my teeth.

I asked, "can you sand my tooth here to move the front teeth, so they look straight?"
I didn't mind at this point that my jaw is slightly tilted. What I care is how they look.
He said, "I can bend the wire."

How?

Well, he did this way, that way, and all.
He said he's trying to move bottom set of teeth to move forward, upper teeth to be out and in, to close the open bite. Then after that, he'll do fine tune for slight tilt part of front teeth.

Now I have rubber bands everywhere. There are two to hold front to back.
Then they added hooks. He put double rubber bands to make a square to fit front upper teeth and lower teeth. I cannot open my mouth. He gave me a lot of extra rubber bands, so I guess I could take them off to eat. But at the same time, I'm thinking that this might be a good chance to go back to liquid diet for a week, and lose some weight.

Anyway,
He said, "you are very close to be done."

Really?
I'm glad. I was really worried when I saw the tilted jaw.
But he worked the magic to fix in the way that I'm happy about.
They actually look good already. So I hope this works out, and everything will be good at the end!

Day 122 --- down time and up time

When I'm on the good mood, teeth look good and strait. But when I'm feeling low and in the bad mood, they look more tilted. Is it just physiological thing? If they are straight, though, no matter how I feel they should look straight. So I'm just trying to be okay with tilted set of teeth most of times. But today, I'm more tired and not feeling so good. So my teeth especially bother me.

Now I'm thinking, it wasn't because I ate French fries, but probably because I brushed my teeth too soon. I started Day 17. That's just past two weeks. The doctor didn't stop me, though. I just should had waited. I remember now that it was painful to open my mouth. Then I had to move brush between small space between my upper jaw and lower jaw. I think that did it. Somehow some point I must have pushed too much. Then that caused this shift. Yes. Call me stupid. That's how I feel. Why why why I didnt wait? First of all, I never imagine that the jaw would move like that. They are. bolted together. But then, like my orthodontic dentist explained, upper jaw is like Plastic Easter egg. Only if I knew.

Too late.

I just have to live with my own mistake and every time I look at my tilted teeth, I just know how stupid I am. Right? Great!

Sorry, I'm really downer today. I'd better stop writing.

Day 118 --- Getting better?

I had another dentist appointment today. This one is to check if my jaw is still moving without rubber bands. It's been one week since I went to the dentist, and it looked like stable. He said so, too. There is still small gap between my upper set of teeth and lower set of teeth. He said it's easy to put those teeth close together moving teeth. But he doesn't want to do it until he's sure that the jaw is stable. So that's what we are checking. This time, it will be for two weeks until the next appointment. I think after that, he may try to move my teeth to come close together. My teeth are lining up better, though. I think so and one of his assistant who hasn't seen me said that too. Last time she saw me was when I told the dentist my teeth are tilted. She said they look a lot better and she doesn't notice the tilt so much. Well,
"so much" is the point, isn't it? It's still there. But not so obvious. So if you don't know me and look at my teeth, you may not notice. That's what I'm hoping. There is a slight hope now. It looks like I don't have to live with huge tilt in my face. Non of faces are perfect, right? Everyone has little difference between left and right.

Anyway, I'm happy for now. It may take another couple of months before braces are off. But at least, the dentist try to make the best of it.

Day 116 --- Taste buds

Ever since the surgery, I have carvings for salty foods.
I always liked salty foods, but now unstoppable. I have to have some.
Maybe because inside my mouth is still numb, my taste buds seem to
want to feel stronger taste. I liked chocolate and sweets, too. But
I don't have cravings for sweets anymore. Strange. I guess the surgery
messed that things up, too.